Julie Andrew's Unsung Song (Free Write)

“Dear friend, we are here today to counsel you that the time to stop being offended is now." - Elder D. Bednar (Apostle)

No doubt the above advice is something we all need to take seriously and sensibly; but in spite of my greatest and most noble efforts there are still a number of things in this world (and in this county) that make my blood boil and and my eye twitch (the right one, at least) in malevolent disgust. Perhaps by sharing these things we you, loyal readers (thou shalt not snicker) they will become less offensive over time; so let it be written, so let it be done. Amen.

1. Popped Collars
2. Presumptuous and unapologetic pedestrians
3. Bug eye sunglasses
4. MmmBop
5. Paulie Shore
6. Hearing people say "that one movie with Paulie Shore" on campus
7. Guys who wear pajama pants into the Cougareat
8. The Maverick Monster
9. Salesmen who use the missionary tactic of "build a relationship of trust" in the Wilk or Mall
10. Vegans
    
11. Unschool
12. European swim trunks
13. Sycophants
14. Rhombuses ( crafty little devils)
15. People who use parenthesizes excessively....
16. The Real World and other MTV atrocities
17. Hippies
18. People who talk on their cell phones so that the whole world is keen on 50% of the conversation
19. Inadvertently meeting Americans in a foreign country
20. Being surrounded by gigantic black spiders with nothing but a pump action pellet gun for protection and a broken down dune buggy (a dream you wouldn't soon forget either, I guarantee it)
21. Latter Day Pharisees
22. iAnything, or at least the notion that something promoted as counterculture can also be mainstream simultaneously.
23. Esurance
24. Ulcers
25. Mountain Standard Time
26. Awkward Silences
27. .........................
28. People who don't get witty jokes
29. Guys who sing in public places, when they have no business doing so there or anywhere else for that matter.
    
30. And finally, to round things out - the word "paradigm"

Well, it's not exactly raindrops on roses but I do feel considerably better than I did beforehand, in fact had I had room for a 31 it would have been "people who complain about too much", nevertheless we all have those certain things that just push the right button, and if you're lucky you'll find yourself in painful proximity to a person who inadvertently, yet skillfully, can push all of them in a choreographed symphony of blistering insanity; Aaah C'est la vie.....

Oh yeah, almost forgot #32 - French ________ (insert word here, excluding toast)

I'd be interested to what the rest of you folk find irksome ~ perhaps a "Top 5" or something